Log in

No account? Create an account
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
(no subject)

Title: 10 Little Things That Claire Never Thought She Would Know About Gabriel Gray.

Author: 1bill_sookie

Rating: PG

Pairing: Sylar/Claire

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.


Chapter 1 (?)


1.    Claire wouldn’t have thought she would know that Gabriel preferries White Peach tea over Earl Gray when he was stressed,  that he only meat he likes is chicken, that he can’t complete a tongue-twister to save his life, or that he absolutely cannot stand the smell of pumpkin pie.


2.    There are nine freckles spread out across his skin.



3.    Despite Virginia Gray’s near constant putdowns, emotionally manipulative behavior, and clearly unstable mental state, Gabriel had loved his mother more then anyone in the world.


4.    Sylar, despite being so deeply buried within Gabriel, is by no means gone. At times she will see Sylar in the blazing, laser like quitatily of Gabriel’s eyes, the hardness and cunning of his smile, or the possessiveness of his voice and his hands upon her body.  It’s not that Gabriel and Sylar are two separate personatlies, not exactly.

  They are both intelligent, condsiderdite, protective, posses a fierce temper, are both anal retentive neat freaks, and seem obsessed with their hair at times.  Both drink coffee only on Saturday mornings, each hate trains, country music, and sweater vests, and both love the smell of her hair.

There is one important difference however; Gabriel is struggling to maintain control over The Hunger. Nearly everyday is a agonizing, brutal, burning  struggle to have more, take more, consume more, to learn more, and even centuries later there are times when Gabriel can barely  keep himself from drowning. 

Sylar on the other hand has completely subcomed to The Hunger. He has allowed that need to take/have/consume/devour/learn to coat nearly his entire being like thick, black oil until she would recognize almost no part of him.

Despite that one major difference between Sylar and Gabriel, there is one thing that is an unbreakable, concert solid constant for each of them. Both Gabriel and Sylar would give their lives for hers.


5.     Claire finds how he has excelled tremendously within the fields of Neurosurgery  and  psychology  to be a little ironic.


6.    When Gabriel is concerting he will poke his tongue out of the corner of his mouth.



7.    He hates the smell of strawberry shampoo, the sight of spiders, the feel of unwashed hair, the taste of caramel, and the sound of dogs barking.


8.    Gabriel likes to hang crystals on the curtain rod of their bedroom window. He claims it’s because she likes them, but Claire knows the true reason is that Gabriel loves how the tiny rainbows dance across her skin.



9.    Claire thinks how the concept of magic tricks are completely beyond the realm of his compression, despite over three centuries spent attempting to master them, to be hilarious.


10.  For the first three years of knowing him, whenever she thought of Sylar’s eyes she saw greed, anger, hate, and a lust for power. When he was trying to redeem himself she witnessed within Gabriel’s eyes guilt, fear, self loathing, vurnabitily, and a pleading to be loved; to be enough. She never thought that she could look into the eyes of both Sylar and Gabriel and witness love, protectiveness, desire, friendship, and trust.


AN: In addition to this being my  first time writing anything Heroes related, I’m also only up to the second season of the series, so forgive me if my characterization is completely off base.

Also, because my beta seems to have abandoned me, I am now requesting your help. Certain areas of my grammar and spelling are beyond crap, so could you please point out any errors? I’m also not completely happy with # 4, so if you could offer up any comments it would be greatly appreciated.

If you like this story I will write a second chapter focusing on 10 Big Things that Claire learns.

If, in fact, you would like a second chapter, what Big Things would you prefer to see?



  • 1
Glad you posted something. Congrats on a successful virgin-flight into Heroes. I thought you did well. I do like this greatly.
Number 4 was a big hit for me (barley keep himself from drowning- change to barely, easy mistake to make!) I love the part about it (the Hunger) coating Sylar towards being unrecognizable; it's so true. Some of Gabriel isn't hitting me, but that's just me.
Number 8- curtain rode, change to 'rod', I think?
Hope that's helpful.
TBC! Woo hoo!

since you asked, here are corrections for the first few

Claire wouldn’t have thought she would know that Gabriel preferries White Peach tea over Earl Gray when he was stressed, that he only meat he likes is chicken...

Change 'preferries' to 'prefers', change 'was stressed' to 'is stressed' (since all the rest seems to be in present tense), and change 'he only meat' to 'the only meat'.

Gabriel had loved his mother more then anyone in the world.

Change 'then' to 'than' ('then' shows conditional or temporal relationships, but 'than' is used for comparisons). Then change 'subcomed to The Hunger' to 'succumbed to The Hunger.'

Change 'a agonizing, brutal, burning struggle' to 'an agonizing, brutal, burning struggle'

On #4 change 'quitatily of Gabriel’s eyes' to 'quality of Gabriel's eyes' and change '...condsiderdite, protective, posses a fierce...' to '....considerate, protective, possess a fierce...'

And I suspect you may have meant 'concrete' instead of 'concert' in the following: 'an unbreakable, concert solid constant for each of them'

In #6 change 'When Gabriel is concerting' to 'when Gabriel is concentrating' (unless you really did mean that he was playing a concert, and even then there's no such word as 'concerting').

In #9 change 'concept of magic tricks are completely' to 'concept of magic tricks is completely.' A lot of my students miss this, also, but 'concept' is the subject of the verb in that part of your sentence, and so the verb needs to be singular. When in doubt about what's the actual subject or verb and what's just window dressing hanging off of it, mentally eliminate all prepositional phrases (modifying phrases that start with a preposition like 'to', 'of', 'for', etc.). Grammatically speaking, 'of magic tricks' doesn't count for anything (as far as basic subject-verb relationships are concerned), since it's a prepositional phrase.

And in #10 change 'self loathing, vurnabitily' to 'self-loathing, vulnerability'.

Excellent! Yays!!!

Aside for a few grammatical issues the fic really has great threads of thought. I really could see number 8 so crystal clear in my mind! Sylar just staring at her for like a second in a bathroom dazzled in rainbows. Amazingness.

I feel as though #4 would be better if it were split up smaller. Sometimes it is better to have a bunch of smaller paragraphs than it is to have big ones. Also, perhaps increase the use of semicolons in that paragraphs.
But I really loved the way you kept them separate but truly joined on a fundamental level.

I really loved it, honest.

Prepare yourself though... Season 2 is merely the tip of the Sylar/Claire iceburg!

Your spelling errors could be overlooked in light of your character voicing which was well done. I think you did a great job with Claire's take of where/and how far Gabriel has come and herself in understanding him as well.

  • 1